I Am Allowed to Sit

It’s evening. A dark sky. Quiet street. Peaceful.

And I worked a full day. I even got myself up and off to work so that I could get my day started a bit early.

It was a good day. I worked my way through my checklist. Got books shelved, kids taught, teachers helped. And I made three personal phone calls to schedule things. Which is a major miracle for me. I know I need to call and make an appointment for this or that, but I get so wrapped up in work that I forget. And then it’s after five. And too late. So I go through the next day and the same thing happens. Then the next day. And another day. Three months later I finally call to make an appointment and, of course, they’re scheduling so far in advance that now I have to wait another 3 months. So three phone calls that took less than ten minutes to get things taken care of around my house is amazing.

A regular, productive day.

After school I fulfilled a weekly community obligation where I get to work with some amazing 3rd graders. Dinner with friends. A quick trip to a craft store for some supplies.

And now I’m sitting here feeling like I should be working. Why do I feel like I am not allowed to sit down and enjoy a moment? I can think of several things I should do. Nothing I really want to do 40 minutes before heading to bed with a book. My furnace is being replaced; the heat is out and the house is dusty. At this moment I am not worried about it. I am allowed to sit here in mismatched layers and thick wool socks without getting work done!

I do not have to work every moment I slow down. And I don’t have to do something to relax!

I can just be still and sit.

I will just sit!

March 17, 2011
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